http://blog.dancemeditation.org/2008/05/18/may-day-ly-practice-10/ not an oxymoron Tue, 06 Jan 2009 03:19:43 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.2 http://blog.dancemeditation.org/2008/05/18/may-day-ly-practice-10/#comment-97 ann Thu, 22 May 2008 00:36:23 +0000 http://blog.dancemeditation.org/2008/05/18/may-day-ly-practice-10/#comment-97 I wish I could say that my practice is rolling along, now that I am doing it almost daily. Instead, rather than grab my mat with the joyful anticipation of retreat into dancemeditation, I grab my mat and then find I must all but wrestle with myself to stay there and focus. All of a sudden I'm hungry. I'm too hot, then cold, I took my clothes off and on a few times tonight before I practiced with very little on, on a soft blanket. I've worked with temperature discomfort before so I wonder if I am moving through resistance. Eventually I could focus and settle into a practice, but checking the time, minutes felt like hours. I grasped at anything to stay engaged changing levels, moving side to side, breath, sounding with my voice, until finally my monkey mind was tamed, not relinquished, and I could settle into a delicious practice of connection with myself. I don't worry too much about these sorts of practices, where its hard, though I do judge myself and take inventory. Not my diet, not anything absolutely pressing...hang in there. I feel they are useful in breaking down some kind of barrier to my Self, though I don't know what for sure. I do know when I face my clients for 'holistic PT and alternative bodywork' any kind of practice helps me to be more embodied, and I feel more connected and honestly in all areas of my life. I wish I could say that my practice is rolling along, now that I am doing it almost daily. Instead, rather than grab my mat with the joyful anticipation of retreat into dancemeditation, I grab my mat and then find I must all but wrestle with myself to stay there and focus. All of a sudden I’m hungry. I’m too hot, then cold, I took my clothes off and on a few times tonight before I practiced with very little on, on a soft blanket. I’ve worked with temperature discomfort before so I wonder if I am moving through resistance. Eventually I could focus and settle into a practice, but checking the time, minutes felt like hours. I grasped at anything to stay engaged changing levels, moving side to side, breath, sounding with my voice, until finally my monkey mind was tamed, not relinquished, and I could settle into a delicious practice of connection with myself. I don’t worry too much about these sorts of practices, where its hard, though I do judge myself and take inventory. Not my diet, not anything absolutely pressing…hang in there. I feel they are useful in breaking down some kind of barrier to my Self, though I don’t know what for sure. I do know when I face my clients for ‘holistic PT and alternative bodywork’ any kind of practice helps me to be more embodied, and I feel more connected and honestly in all areas of my life.

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